No News isn't Always Good News
So first off I would like to thank you all for all your good energy. I really appreciate all the support. I wish I had better news, but I don't. After a week, two e-mails and one voicemail I have heard nothing.
Although I am very upset about not getting the job, I am also insulted that they didn't even have the decency to get back to me. I mean really all it would have taken was a generic "Thank you for your interest, but you have not made it to the next round of the recruiting process" e-mail and I wouldn't have had to worry about the uncertainty. Instead they didn't send me anything. That is just unprofessional. Candidates jump through hoops for recruiters and they do so knowing that they may not be selected. The least the recruiters can do for the candidates is answer their questions when they ask. Anyway I am a little upset about the way that turned out.
I had another potential job possibility come my way last week, but that isn't going to happen. I have my resume in with quite a few placment agencies and last week this really bitchy woman called me from one of them. First she told me that the job is one that one of my classmates from my HR program just left, and then proceeded to grill me about why she left the job. I tried to explain to her that I haven't spoken to this classmate since we finished our program and I didn't know, but she was grilling me like I was keeping something from her. Finally she stopped grilling and then proceeded to YELL at me because I was having a hard time answering her questions because there was a construction crew outside my house and I could barely hear her. (This is all happenig in French btw) Then she switched to English and told me that if I wanted this ADMIN ASSISTANT job I'd have to come in to the agency and take an Excel test, a typing test and two grammar tests (French and English.)
I didn't want to do it. I figured that if my classmate left the job that there must be a good reason, plus I am not a very good typer and I know that. I can type when I am tying my own stuff, but I am not good at copying from another source. I am not Secretary material and I know that, but I am normally willing to give anything a shot. In this case I was not really willing to go out of my way to get a job that I don't really want, but my fiance encouraged me to do it anyway, even though I was stressed to the point of breaking, so I did.
Yesterday I went to do my testing and I suck. I FAILED my French grammar test (which didn't surprise me) and my typing test (27 wpm lol) but I did pretty well on my Excel test considering the fact that I was working with a much older version of Excel than I am used to. I also did well on my English grammar test (one would hope so!) So the lady at the agency was not the same one that I spoke to on the phone (thank goodness) and she was very nice and gave me the "intermediate" French grammar test ofter I failed the "advanced" one, but I don't think that I fared much better on that one! So needless to say I didn't have the best day yesterday.
To add insult to injury I am stressed to the max. I feel like I am breaking apart. I have lost any semblance of self esteem and I have turned mean. I am not a mean person, but I have been acting so mean. I've been lashing out at my fiance, which I never used to do. I hate being mean but I feel like I have been taken over by this different bitter angry person. I am not happy not working. I have worked since I was 12 and normally I had at least two jobs. I have always been able to take care of myself financially and it kills me that I can't do it anymore. I have no control over it either. I hate living here and I have become resentful of my fiance for being the reason that I am here.
My fiance is the love of my life no doubt, but he (like me!) is not perfect. He is an engineer and so his though process is such that if there's a problem he tries to fix it. However I don't need him to make suggestions on how to improve my chances of finding work. I have done everything I can think of and even the career placement people have told me that they're impressed with my efforts. What I need from my fiance is comforting and support. After all the work that I have put in to finding a job his comments seem belittleing and critical. Needless to say we have been going through a rough time. I have been assured by all my recently married friends that this is normal when you are learning to live with someone, so that make me feel better because I don't want to have to give up on us before we've even really started! Through talking I have discovered that my fiance just doesn't really have to tools to cope with people when they are facing a situation that he has never faced. He is not capable of putting himself in another's shoes. That isn't his fault and I am starting to realize that. It's up to me to tell him what I need instead of just expecting him to know.
The ironic thing is that this, as crappy as it is, really shows me how much I care about my fiance. Never in my adult life have I allowed myself to depend on anyone else for anything. I have been self-sufficient and now I have dropped my defences and I am fully his. So that is what makes his inability to help me so much harder, neither of us have been here beofre we don't know how to deal with this new situation! The important thing that I have come to realize is that it is not that he is unwilling to help me it is more that he just doesn't know how. The other amazing thing is that I have been able to be apart of this relationship without completely losing myself (angry bitter Odette notwithstanding.) We embrace our differences as much as our similarities, it is like we recognize that our differences help us compensate for each others weaknesses. It's as though we are two halves of one whole. God that sounds cheesy.
Sorry for the little introspection. Sometimes I just need to see things in writing (I'm a visual person, so things make more sense to me when I see them.) Also this is really what this blog is meant for, it's meant to be an outlet for me to bitch, moan and gush at will, afterall this is "My Life As You Know It!" Anyway thanks for tuning in and thanks again for your good vibes! See ya next post!
Oh and Hallie over at Wonderful World of Wieners is raising money to raise awareness about organ donation (a cause very near and dear to her heart) so I recommend that you head over to her blog and read up about it, or just click on the handy widget on top of this and donate. I'm an organ donor and I tell everyone who would need to know (ie my family and my fiance) regularly so that if the unthinkable happens there is no question in their minds (plus it is clearly stated on the back of my health card.)
Oh and for the record Hallie I do not want an entry to your raffle for posting this. Not because it's not awesome (cause it is!) but more because I want to help you because I believe in the cause not to win a buttload of AMAZING prizes! :)
Although I am very upset about not getting the job, I am also insulted that they didn't even have the decency to get back to me. I mean really all it would have taken was a generic "Thank you for your interest, but you have not made it to the next round of the recruiting process" e-mail and I wouldn't have had to worry about the uncertainty. Instead they didn't send me anything. That is just unprofessional. Candidates jump through hoops for recruiters and they do so knowing that they may not be selected. The least the recruiters can do for the candidates is answer their questions when they ask. Anyway I am a little upset about the way that turned out.
I had another potential job possibility come my way last week, but that isn't going to happen. I have my resume in with quite a few placment agencies and last week this really bitchy woman called me from one of them. First she told me that the job is one that one of my classmates from my HR program just left, and then proceeded to grill me about why she left the job. I tried to explain to her that I haven't spoken to this classmate since we finished our program and I didn't know, but she was grilling me like I was keeping something from her. Finally she stopped grilling and then proceeded to YELL at me because I was having a hard time answering her questions because there was a construction crew outside my house and I could barely hear her. (This is all happenig in French btw) Then she switched to English and told me that if I wanted this ADMIN ASSISTANT job I'd have to come in to the agency and take an Excel test, a typing test and two grammar tests (French and English.)
I didn't want to do it. I figured that if my classmate left the job that there must be a good reason, plus I am not a very good typer and I know that. I can type when I am tying my own stuff, but I am not good at copying from another source. I am not Secretary material and I know that, but I am normally willing to give anything a shot. In this case I was not really willing to go out of my way to get a job that I don't really want, but my fiance encouraged me to do it anyway, even though I was stressed to the point of breaking, so I did.
Yesterday I went to do my testing and I suck. I FAILED my French grammar test (which didn't surprise me) and my typing test (27 wpm lol) but I did pretty well on my Excel test considering the fact that I was working with a much older version of Excel than I am used to. I also did well on my English grammar test (one would hope so!) So the lady at the agency was not the same one that I spoke to on the phone (thank goodness) and she was very nice and gave me the "intermediate" French grammar test ofter I failed the "advanced" one, but I don't think that I fared much better on that one! So needless to say I didn't have the best day yesterday.
To add insult to injury I am stressed to the max. I feel like I am breaking apart. I have lost any semblance of self esteem and I have turned mean. I am not a mean person, but I have been acting so mean. I've been lashing out at my fiance, which I never used to do. I hate being mean but I feel like I have been taken over by this different bitter angry person. I am not happy not working. I have worked since I was 12 and normally I had at least two jobs. I have always been able to take care of myself financially and it kills me that I can't do it anymore. I have no control over it either. I hate living here and I have become resentful of my fiance for being the reason that I am here.
My fiance is the love of my life no doubt, but he (like me!) is not perfect. He is an engineer and so his though process is such that if there's a problem he tries to fix it. However I don't need him to make suggestions on how to improve my chances of finding work. I have done everything I can think of and even the career placement people have told me that they're impressed with my efforts. What I need from my fiance is comforting and support. After all the work that I have put in to finding a job his comments seem belittleing and critical. Needless to say we have been going through a rough time. I have been assured by all my recently married friends that this is normal when you are learning to live with someone, so that make me feel better because I don't want to have to give up on us before we've even really started! Through talking I have discovered that my fiance just doesn't really have to tools to cope with people when they are facing a situation that he has never faced. He is not capable of putting himself in another's shoes. That isn't his fault and I am starting to realize that. It's up to me to tell him what I need instead of just expecting him to know.
The ironic thing is that this, as crappy as it is, really shows me how much I care about my fiance. Never in my adult life have I allowed myself to depend on anyone else for anything. I have been self-sufficient and now I have dropped my defences and I am fully his. So that is what makes his inability to help me so much harder, neither of us have been here beofre we don't know how to deal with this new situation! The important thing that I have come to realize is that it is not that he is unwilling to help me it is more that he just doesn't know how. The other amazing thing is that I have been able to be apart of this relationship without completely losing myself (angry bitter Odette notwithstanding.) We embrace our differences as much as our similarities, it is like we recognize that our differences help us compensate for each others weaknesses. It's as though we are two halves of one whole. God that sounds cheesy.
Sorry for the little introspection. Sometimes I just need to see things in writing (I'm a visual person, so things make more sense to me when I see them.) Also this is really what this blog is meant for, it's meant to be an outlet for me to bitch, moan and gush at will, afterall this is "My Life As You Know It!" Anyway thanks for tuning in and thanks again for your good vibes! See ya next post!
Oh and Hallie over at Wonderful World of Wieners is raising money to raise awareness about organ donation (a cause very near and dear to her heart) so I recommend that you head over to her blog and read up about it, or just click on the handy widget on top of this and donate. I'm an organ donor and I tell everyone who would need to know (ie my family and my fiance) regularly so that if the unthinkable happens there is no question in their minds (plus it is clearly stated on the back of my health card.)
Oh and for the record Hallie I do not want an entry to your raffle for posting this. Not because it's not awesome (cause it is!) but more because I want to help you because I believe in the cause not to win a buttload of AMAZING prizes! :)
Comments
*BUG HUGS!*
(that was supposed to say BIG but bug sounds so cute. BUG HUGS!)
It's not easy but you've got to know this is all happening for a reason and the wheels are in motion - turmoil produces change!
And thxs for the shout out. But sorry, your name is going in to the mix. CUZ I WANT TO PUT IT THERE!!!
Hallie :)
As for the male thing. Oi vey. Guys don't get the sympathic thing so much, but rather try to work toward fixing your problems. So wheneven you have a problem, instead of being all "there, there" and being nice, their immediate reaction is to give you advice and tips, which of course then makes you feel like they're pushing you or don't believe that you've done as much as you should have done.
Such a hurdle, I hope you can find a way over it (I just yell at Bjorn that I don't want his god damn advice lol That seems to get through)
Good luck!
I just keep trying to believe that things happen for a reason and that the perfect job for me is out there somewhere. Don't give up. We're rooting for you.
It sounds like your fiance and you are learning how to react to each other and learn how to communicate your needs. This is a great tool in any relationship. WIth this you will both be able to nurture each other. Communication is key! And don't worry about being mean every once in a while. I do it to my husband and he still loves me. :)
Good luck and hang in there with the job search. Something lovely will come your way - and you'll love every minute of it when it does!!
And I completely understand what you mean when recruiters or interviewers don't call you or inform you as to what happened. The ones that swear up and down are the ones that never call back either.. even to just tell you that you are not hired. It has happened to me once or twice. Annoying for sure.
Chin up, Head down, deep breathes.. re-group, listen and learn. You got this.