My Plan worked wa ha ha ha

Okay so I have been really sad about the lack of comments on my post recently so I decided that I wasn't going to post again unless I had a decent amount of comments on my last one! Shallow I know but sometimes you just need to feel the love!

So Wedding stuff is taken care of. My parents insisted on splitting the bill and I skimmed some stuff off the tab. I am making my own centre pieces and stuff like that. So YAY! I also had to make the decision to do two tiers of invites (I don't care how tacky that is) we are inviting only family in the first wave and then we know how many friends to invite based on the family "no's." I am not too worried because we can have 100 ppl and le boyfriend doesn't think that he'll have more than 40 ppl there, so that leaves plenty of room for my huge family and a select few friends. I had to make sacrifices and since our wedding is on a Friday and out of town for most people hopefully the guest list will work itself out!

I also went dress shopping this weekend in Toronto with my cousin and may have found "the dress" okay and since I can't describe it or find a picture that looks anything like it, I have these two pics to give y'all an idea:

So my dress has the body of dress 1mixed with the body and silhouette of dress 2. Not a great description I know, but it's the best I can do for now.

I am taking my Mom to see it next month when she is in Toronto with my Dad.

I have been enjoying my time here in Toronto somewhat, I got to see my cousin and we got to have dinner with some of le boyfriend's friends, so that was great, but I also had to go to the dentist for the first time in 5 years and my mouth was so gross that they have to finish the job tomorrow! Whoops! I am TERRIFIED of the dentist due to the fact that I had to have all my baby teeth pulled (not all at the same time, they left me my front four) and it was HORRIBLE!

Okay to continue with the randomness... I have been very depressed lately. This is in part due to my life long battle with depression. Sometimes when everything is going right (ie great man, getting married, etc etc) I get into a rut about things that I feel like I can't control, (job hunt) or can control but have let get away from me (weight). The problem is that when I get like this I get into a spiral of hopelessness that I just can't break, I get tired and I do not have the strength to just snap out of it. I always know that I am the only one that can change my situation but I literally can't do it to save my life. Eventually through baby steps the fog clears and I can get out of the spiral.

To get out of said spiral I have taken the following steps:

I have enrolled in school. All of next semester I will be doing a diploma in Human Resources Management, which will be a great field for me and will open up many doors for me. I will use this as a back door way to get into the government field that I want!

I have also decided to go back on South Beach in a big way! I bought one of the newer South Beach Cook Books and am looking really forward to making all the yummy things in there! I have done this diet before, but France kinda threw me into a tail spin and the result of that is evidenced on my mid section! I am not at all a fan of diets, but this one just makes sense to me and it is really easy to follow and it allows you to make mistakes and eat "bad" things in moderation. The best part is that soon I won't even crave the "bad" things like I do now! Even if this doesn't make me loose any weight I know that I will feel better and that is the most important part!

So slowly but surely I am pulling myself out of my self-deprecating spiral. I am hoping that these changes will help me with my self-esteem, which is at an all time low, but no matter what it can't hurt right?

Have a great one everybody! Don't forget to leave your comments! :)

*I have been having formatting issues and so there are no line spaces where there should be. Grrrr I hate it when this happens!!!!!