Dear Asshat

Dear Asshat who broke into my Car today,

Thanks so much for ruining a great evening with my fiance. Heaven forbid we try to enjoy the last day of his vacation by driving downtown to see a movie. I hope that you're proud of yourself. Was it worth breaking our window and rummaging around in our car? What did you find? NOTHING? Oh that's right because we don't leave valuables in our car you fucking moron. I hope that whatever fix you were hoping to get by stealing our stuff kills you and if by some chance it doesn't then pray that I never find out who you are.


Dear Asshat Neighbor who called the cops on us for vacuuming the glass out of our car,

Thanks so much for putting the cherry on top of an already fantastic situation. I am so sorry that we disturbed your sleep at 11pm by trying to protect our car from the elements overnight. I am really sorry that our misfortune has cost YOU. I can't wait for the opportunity to return the favor. Fuck you very much.

Comments

Cupcake Blonde said…
Wow. Talk about a very shitty night. That is really just a double dose of crap. While I can't think about anything to do about the asshat who broke into our car I do have some very ingenious ideas about how to pay back your asshat neighbor.

Did the cops understand at least?
August 10, 2009 at 2:46 AM
Wonderful World of Weiners said…
When it rains, huh? Your neighbor needs a good dose of friendly retaliation.

Hallie
August 10, 2009 at 9:08 AM
Odette said…
VP - yeah the cops were great. They said that they totally understood and said that they'd talk to the neighbor for us.

Hallie - I am just waiting. My day will come.
August 10, 2009 at 12:04 PM
Wanderlusting said…
The neighbours would probably piss me off more than the car.

DAMN QUEBEC!
August 10, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Kass said…
That totally sucks. Hope that neighbour of yours gets what coming to him (and you're there to witness it!!!)
August 11, 2009 at 2:27 AM
Mary Ellen said…
Damn. I suspect the robber/vandal will get theirs, and probably sooner rather than later. The neighbor, though, probably needs a lesson in good-neighboring...if you need suggestions, I bet we could come up with something fun.
August 12, 2009 at 11:52 AM
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