100th Post

So I had hoped to make this a momentous occasion, but nothing momentous really popped up, so I am going to talk about something that has really irked me.

I have spoken before about how much I love my family, they are the most important people in the world to me. When something is happening with one of them it really gets to me. ESPECIALLY when in indirectly involves me! Here's the deal; I have an Uncle who is an alcoholic. My Dad's side of the family all suffer from certain degrees of alcoholism (with the exception of my Dad who doesn't drink at all) but none as badly as this particular Uncle. He has a habit of getting trashed and ripping a strip off of people and breaking down crying while blaming EVERYONE for his problems, you know typical alcoholic behavior. Anyway with my pending nuptials my Dad called my Uncle to ask him not to drink at my wedding.

My Uncle took offense to this request and decided not to attend my wedding. This didn't exactly thrill me, but it was better than having him corner me and tell my what assholes his brothers and sisters are and how my grandmother only loved him(as opposed to loving all of her children), which is what happened the last few times that he came to a family event. Anyway, so he decided not to come and I thought that was that. Silly me I obviously forgot who I was dealing with.

My Uncle has chosen to air his grievances with this situation on Facebook of all places. First he wrote on my Dad's wall calling him all sorts of rude names and telling him how he's a controlling son of a bitch etc etc. He has also decided to tell everyone who would listen that he is unwelcome and that my Dad (whom he always refers to in an unfriendly manner) told him that he wasn't allowed to attend. Which may be half true, as I wasn't there to listen to my Dad's conversation I do not know if my Dad told my Uncle that he wasn't welcome if he chose to drink, but the truth of the matter was that no matter how the request was worded my Uncle chose alcohol over attending his neice's wedding.

The thing that pisses me off is that I now have to see all these insults toward my father on Facebook, and I have to see that he is saying that we have delcared him "personna non gratta," which is not what has happened. Now one could speculate that given my Uncle's knack for acting like an ass and ruining every family event that he has attended the recipients of his defamation would take everything he says with a grain of salt, but I am still upset. I just feel a need to call him on his BS because I have been seeing it every time I sign on to Facebook (gotta love the newsfeed!) I have "un-friended" him and I am trying to ignore it, but I want so badly to just reply to one of his comments so that at least our side of the story gets told as well. So here's my addition to his comments on Facebook. If I can't say it to him I at least want to get it off my chest.

"I would really appreciate you halting the defamation against my father and attempting to make people believe that we have asked you to stay away from my wedding. This is supposed to be a happy occasion and we as a family need that after all the sad occasions that have brought us together in recent years. I know that you cannot be honest about your decision not to come to the wedding because in doing so you would have to admit that you have a problem, so all I ask is that you stop talking about it all together."

Of course I know that by posting that comment or one similar I am really just making the situation worse, but I am still angry and a little hurt that things would turn out this way. At the end of the day he is still my Uncle and I have good memories of our relationship from before he was in this state, but now I feel like he is beyond hope.

So a pretty uninspiring 100th post, but maybe I will have more success with post 200!

Oh and Hallie, if I had to marry a muppet I would marry Animal because I have always had a thing for drummers!

See y'all on post 101! :)

Comments

Family drama can really be tough. Hang in there.

Hallie

And LOVE animal!!
Kass said…
Good lord, family. Can't win huh? I have horrible aunts. They're not alcoholics, but they do believe that they are right, even tho they're shit stirring witches. Sad :(
Wanderlusting said…
That's too bad. as you know I've come from a family of alcoholics...the person closest to me - my mother - is one and it rips me apart at times. Luckily my mother is still a lovely person who has just had a horrible life and she has to deal with it, as do we.

All alcoholics are selfish by nature...but I'm sorry that your uncle sounds like one of the worst kinds. Denial will turn people into monsters.

Ignore him, pray for him and concentrate on the good people in your life. If he can't see his problem or care enough to change, or at least understand, then he isn't worth it.

BTW all families are fucked up. I was just at Mike's family reunion and while Mike's immediate family is very "perfect" it was a relief to find out the rest of them certainly are not! That's family for ya!
jiggins said…
Yea that is Drama for sure.. stay focused Odette! It is your life..it is unfortunate that social media makes it even easier to gripe about things in a public way, but it is a price we pay. Think and be positive. move forward and don't let 'Uncle' continue to bring you all down. Be good, be happy!
Thxs for the kind words on my post today. I am still amazed this is all happening. So exciting and nerve wracking at the same time!!

Hallie
Mary Ellen said…
It sucks when family members take a joyous occasion and manage to make it all about them and their delusions. You're doing the right thing not responding (except here). People who matter know the truth. I hope this doesn't mar your beautiful day.
Cupcake Blonde said…
Everyone has those relatives that make situations worse than they should be. Not that it would be an excuse I can say your uncle probably said those things on FB about your Dad while in an inebriated state. Maybe this situation will force him to get the help he desperately needs and something good can come from all of this. I am sorry this has upset you, but understand the people who love you and care for you will be there on your special day and you won't have to worry about anyone making a scene or causing problems. Something no bride should have to worry about.
Delicieux said…
Hopefully he'll stay far away from your happy day. :-/ That's not a good thing to hear about but maybe this will help him on the way to help.

How the heck are ya otherwise?! I haven't really been keeping up. Looks like I'll have more time to read your blog and everyone else's now that school is almost over!

:) Good luck!

PS - when is the big day?
Alice said…
Listen, your wedding day is about you and your husband and no one - NO ONE- has the right to ruin it. Even by posting on Facebook. Unfortunately, alcoholics have no idea about the damage they do to their families with their disease. Just know that you can't fix him. That he has to learn there are consequences to his drinking. And I think your response to him (even just here) was way nicer than I would be. I'd probably just tell him to f* off.

Keep your head up and don't let his drama be yours!!

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