My Life As You Know It

So friends it's been a while and I meant to post more often, but life just got in the way.  My experiment from my last post has been going well and I have even seen some REAL things come of it.  First off I am in the process of getting a contract with the government.  I got this opportunity by basically living my experiment.  Someone I know basically saw my new attitude and when the contract came up he nominated me for it.  So that's that... I hope ;)  Nothing is set in stone yet, so we'll have to see. Also my riding is improving dramatically, which is great seeing as that's the only real "thing" I have right now and I felt for a while like I was stagnating.  It occured to me that most of you don't really know what type of riding I do.  I do dressage.  You can see a description of it here .  Basically I train in the "classical german style"  which means that I follow the school of thought on training that come...

So last week I fell into a bit of a depression backslide.  I had a rough week.  Weeks like that are tiring physically and mentally.  For me it entails a lot of negative self talk.  I have problems seeing the bright side of anything.  It gets scary at times because I have a hard time seeing a way out of the downward spiral.  There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.  I hate it.  But I stand by what I said a few years ago, I have to make a choice.  I make a choice to get out of bed, I make a choice to get dressed, I make a choice to... well you get the picture.  I feel like I am going through the motions.  After struggling with this my whole life I know how to hide it a bit so that people may see there's something off about me but not be able to put a finger on it.  Last week I barley looked or spoke to anyone, so thath's how I knew it was a bad one. This week the fog is mostly gone, so ...

So I feel like crud today, due to an awesome migraine that dropped me on my butt earlier.  But I also feel kinda cruddy for another reason.  So for the last year I have been questioning everything about myself.  I can't seem to find anything I am "good" at, I mean I am passable at a lot of things, but not "good" at any of them.  This comes a lot from my inability to find work.  Job hunting is like constant rejection.  I hate it and it is a really huge blow to my self esteem. The one thing that I have always prided myself on is being a good friend.  When all else has failed I still had that.  Now I can't even say that.  A few of my friends have had a really rough go of it and I have just let them slide.  It's not even that I didn't care, I do, but I have this unnatural fear of saying the wrong thing, so instead of saying or doing something wrong I do nothing, which I know is worse.  What's worse than all that?  The fact t...

So I am back from an amazing week in Maui.  How I ended up there was a bit random.  My cousin called me on Tuesday (the 20th) and asked me if I wanted to go to Hawaii on Friday (the 23rd.)  Apparently my aunt forgot to check her e-mail and thus didn't realize that her week in their timeshare started on Friday.  With 4 kids 2 of which are under the age of 10 it is next to impossible to take off on three days notice.  My cousin (who's 19) wanted to go but her parents wouldn't let her go alone, so I was her only hope.  So I spoke to my husband and to my surprise I was able to go, so 72 hours after I got that call I was on a plane to Maui.  It was amazing.  I love Hawaii, I think that it is paradise and I honestly believe that it is what Heaven looks like.  I have been to Oahu many times before, but this was my first time to Maui and I just love the whole state.  Hawaii is by far my favourite place on earth. (Well so far!) In other n...

To honor the passing of our friend Hallie's son many bloggers have come together and agreed to either re-post this beautiful tribute to C.J., or write something of their own.  Unfortunately I never had the good fortune of know CJ personally so for the first time ever at "My Life as You Know It"  I pass it over to my guests Dayana and Kimmy: Written in Loving Memory of Christopher John “C.J.” Twomey on behalf of Hallie, John and Connor Twomey by Dayna and Kimmy. Words are at times, inadequate, and often hard to come by. This is the hardest thing we have ever had to write. It is with deep sadness that we tell you that on April 15th, Christopher John “C.J.” Twomey, the beloved son of Hallie and John, big brother to Connor, passed away unexpectedly, leaving behind his heart-broken family and friends. Please take a moment to read C.J.'s obituary . In the middle of all their saddness, Hallie and John were able to find the strength to write a beautiful and loving...

THAT I AM LEAVING FOR FREAKING MAUI ON FRIDAY! That is all.

I am taking a freaking long test tomorrow to qualify me for a job for the federal government.  So I need all the luck I can get. Also please keep those prayers going for the Twomey family.  They really need them.  My heart is still breaking for them and unfortunately right now this is all that I can do for them.  So please keep them in your thoughts and prayers.  Thank you!