A Small Experiment

So last week I fell into a bit of a depression backslide.  I had a rough week.  Weeks like that are tiring physically and mentally.  For me it entails a lot of negative self talk.  I have problems seeing the bright side of anything.  It gets scary at times because I have a hard time seeing a way out of the downward spiral.  There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel.  I hate it.  But I stand by what I said a few years ago, I have to make a choice.  I make a choice to get out of bed, I make a choice to get dressed, I make a choice to... well you get the picture.  I feel like I am going through the motions.  After struggling with this my whole life I know how to hide it a bit so that people may see there's something off about me but not be able to put a finger on it.  Last week I barley looked or spoke to anyone, so thath's how I knew it was a bad one.

This week the fog is mostly gone, so things are more or less back to normal.  I'm still drained, but the light is back.  So my experiment is this.  I am going to try for one day to not allow a negative comment to escape my lips.  I am also going to TRY to make sure that I don't allow any negative comment to go unchallenged in my head.  After I make it one day, I'll try the next day and so on, basically it is a way of changing the way I think but slowly.  By looking at it in the short term I am not putting too much pressure on myself to change overnight.  I did this a few years ago and I was doing really well... until circumstances in my life (three people in my life died within a short period of time) caused me to regress. So this time I am going to go as long as I can again.  I know that I may not be 100% successful everyday, but the key is to focus on the successes and not the slips. 

I'll let you know how it all goes!  :D

Comments

Cupcake Blonde said…
I think I need to try this in my own life. I am interested to see how it works out for you. :)
D said…
I like your experiment- baby steps! How'd it go?

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