Equilibrium

Have you ever been in one of those moments in your life when you are just so content that you know the universe is going to throw some horrible curve ball at you just to get things back into balance? I am at that point right now and I know it won't last.

Things are by no means perfect. I still have no job and I am struggling with my weight, but I am going home tomorrow to see my friends and family, my fiance and I are getting along great and things are finally settling down. Now I am afraid of what's coming my way. I know this makes me sound pessimistic, but really I'm not. I am so thankful for everything that I have that the crap just doesn't seem as important.

However, every time I have felt this way in the past something bad has happened. It's like the Universe is trying to bring me down a peg or two. There are scary things on the horizon. My fiance's company has just announced massive layoffs (no he does not work in the automotive industry) and we're worried about that. I also have to find a doctor to get a bump on my chest removed that has been there for as long as I can remember, but I just never really noticed it before. I am pretty sure that it's basal cell carcinoma (a friend who interned in a dermo lab told me I didn't just use WebMD.) That in itself shouldn't be too bad seeing as it is not often lethal and it has never grown but it is still scary!

I know I should just be happy and enjoy the present and I am doing my best, but I am such a worrier! Ha ha ha. I am sure that it will all be fine and I will kick myself later for not enjoying the time I have now where everything is just as it should be. After all if I had a job I wouldn't be going to Vancouver! I'd be working! So that in itself is a positive out of a negative!

Okay I am done with my little neurotic rambling. I may not be around much in the next little while so I hope you all have a great week and I'll see you when I get back (if not before!)

Comments

courtney said…
You know what, enjoy the good feelings and don't worry about something bad coming along. Of course the bad will happen if you stress about it and wait for it! Just ride out the good times!
April 14, 2009 at 12:55 AM
Mary Ellen said…
I'm the same way - waiting for the bad stuff to get dumped on me whenever I get too happy - but I'm trying to change. Ya gotta enjoy life while you can.

Have a wonderful trip!
April 14, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Kass said…
I hate those feelings, they can often ruin good moments, so don't let it ruin yours!!
April 15, 2009 at 5:35 PM
Delicieux said…
I know EXACTLY how you feel... just hang in there... don't let the impending (sp?) doom ruin your good mood. :)

Hopefully it'll start to warm up outside and actually feel like spring. That always makes for a pleasant day!
April 17, 2009 at 1:23 AM
Cupcake Blonde said…
I do the same thing. I think it is because I have had so may things happen to me that I just always expect something bad. Because I never seem to get the good. But I am trying to be more positive these days. It is difficult, but I am trying. When you start to feel this way, focus on one good thing and let that happiness seep in and chase away your gloom.
April 18, 2009 at 7:02 PM
kim-d said…
Oh Odette, this whole post SO could have been written by the young me! I'm here to tell all of you young ones--20s and early 30s--that this is right where you should be right now.

Even though it sometimes sucks, this is what prepares you to handle the rest of your life. AND! I'll let ya in on a little secret that they don't tell you about getting older. IF (and that is a big IF) you learn the lessons that are coming your way now, when you get to your late 30s, 40s and 50s, the crap that comes your way truly is NOT THAT BAD and you get huge satisfaction out of life's little pleasures. You just don't sweat the small stuff quite as much, and it's very freeing.

Not to sound morbid but, by the time you get to my age, you know that life is not going to last forever and that knowledge takes the wind out of MANY of those crap sails! :)

Okay, end of "rock of ages wisdom" lecture. Hope your week was fan-freakin'-tastic!
April 19, 2009 at 1:09 PM
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